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mood

My Go To Essential Oil for Balancing My Moods

By | Busy Moms, Essential Oils, Mental Health | No Comments

I’m Done with today…

Ever feel like that? Most days? I hear ya. This was something that I struggled with on the daily as well. I often struggled with my moods, because of my diagnosis. I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality disorder (BPD). Which one of the things that go along with BPD is an inability to regulate moods effectively. I have also been diagnosed with general anxiety, panic disorder and an eating disorder. What fun!

If you didn’t catch my last blog about my life changing story with essential oils, I highly recommend you pop over and give it a read. Click Here. I want to talk more in-depth about the 1 oil that is my go-to essential oil. So by now, you should know what I struggled with on the daily, and what it looked like. Some of you might know exactly what I am talking about. Because it sounds like your story too.

So what is this 1 oil?

doTERRA’s Wild Orange. I know I know. You are probably thinking the same thing I thought of when my friend Ashley said the same thing to me. How can something as simple as an Orange change my mood? Feeling kind of skeptic? I was.

First off it’s not the juice from the orange. If that was the case everyone would be on cloud 9 with the amount of orange juice people drink. Plus the price of orange juice would skyrocket because there is this amazing health benefit. However, the essential oil comes from the peel. So if you have ever peeled an orange and seen this tiny little spray coming off the rine that my friend is the essential oil.

How does it work?

So I won’t get super sciencey on you. But when you smell it travels to our olfactory bulb. This is connected to the Olfactory Nerve, which travels up and is connected to the limbic system of the brain. This is the area of the brain that we hold our emotions, memories, where we control our heart rate and blood pressure. How cool eh? So have you ever smelled, for example, a pine tree and it reminded you of the holidays. Or a freshly baked apple pie that reminds you of your grandma? This is why.

There is different chemistry to each essential oil. Wild Orange is very rich in Limonene.  Limonene helps with uplifting and soothing our moods. I really could make a whole other blog post on science and chemistry. However, I want to focus on the benefits of this one.

What Can it help with?

Wild Orange is used in Aromatherapy as a nervine and calmative. Meaning that it can help calm your nerves. It is also used in  Aromatherapy as a carminative and antispasmodic for symptomatic relief of digestive discomfort. How amazing is that? So it can help our moods and can help with digestive discomfort.¹

Emotional Aspect of Oil

Wild Orange is known as the oil of abundance. Helps with feelings of drained, overthinking, workaholic, discouraged, and envious. Feeling more productive, hopeful, abundant, playful, generous, and creative.

It is known to open one’s mind and heart up to possibilities and to accept the goodness the comes their way. Reconnecting ourselves with a younger version of yourself it can help you feel fun and more spontaneous.

Allowing use to let go of a scared or fearful mindset to help with our manifestations allowing yourself to know that you are enough. Helping us release all forms of self-doubt and self- judgment.

What is the best way to utilize the oil for emotional benefit?

The best way to use wild orange for supporting your nerves and helping balance moods is through inhalation. My favorite way is to put a drop into the palm of my hands rubbing them together, cupping my nose and my mouth and deeply inhaling. That will help the Limonene work in the brain. You can also apply it topically, up your spine, pulse points. Somewhere that you will still be able to smell them when needed.

My favorite way to get the oils into the air is through diffusing with an ultrasonic diffuser. That allows to me continuously smell the oils and reap all the benefits emotionally.

Need More help, have more Questions?

Have you ever tired Wild Orange? No? Are you New to doTERRA Essential oils? Jump over to my Free Sample Form and I can send you a free sample of the wild orange so you can see how amazing and life-changing it can really be.

Want to know more how all of the essential oils can transform your life? Book a One-on-One with me to discuss all of your health concerns and what oils will be best suited for you.

I am launching new packages for all my busy, stressed out, tired moms who need to catch a break. Ready to gain back control over their life and life the happier healthier lifestyle. Each Package includes a Mastering Your Happiness Appointment. To Learn More Click Here.

 

 

¹Claims are approved for this Natural Health Product. Reference
Wild Orange NPN80060970

essential oil

My Life-Changing Experience With Essential Oils

By | Busy Moms, Essential Oils, Mental Health | No Comments

You just need to Get Over it and Move on…

As I was once told… As most of you know by now, I have struggled with my mental health, well, pretty much my entire life. It was approximately 4.5 years ago that my mental health spiraled out of control. I just had a new baby, where postpartum depression was most likely kicking in, on top of all of my other mental health. I knew something had to change or give because I certainly couldn’t continue like this.

Literally, I would sit in my chair all day and cry. I would have the most unrealistic fears, such as a plane would fall out of the sky if my kids were outside playing. I would send my self into completely panic attacks over what most people thought as ” nothing”. I would even get a panic attack just looking at all the things I had to do in a day. Which this often lead to me being the worst wife and mom because I wouldn’t be able to do these things.

Something had to change

So I went to my first essential oils class. My first one was a couple of months after my second son was born. So the fear of leaving him with Dad was out the window. I decided I would go out and check out what the fuss was all about with these “essential oils” I went to the class and I thought this is pretty amazing. But I never really got into how it could really help me.

However, once my mental health was really out of control, I decided I would go back again. This class Blew me away. By fate, I won the lucky prize at the end of the class and it was a free bottle of doTERRA’s Wild Orange. Ashley- who taught the class explained how she struggled with her own anxiety as well and how she was able to use these essential oils to help regulate her emotions. So I said what the heck its worth a try.

Something Life Changing Happened

So I get this oil, it smells fantastic, but could it really work for me? Like really, I was already on my medication from the MD, I had already seen like 5 different counselors. What could this little tiny bottle do that these professionals couldn’t? Let’s be honest it was “Just” an Orange in a bottle- Or so I thought…

So, I first panic attack since I got the oils started. Which was the next morning, because I will be honest, I had them multiple times a day. So the panic attack started, my chest would feel super tight, I would start not breathing properly, and I would feel super hot and angry. So I grabbed this little bottle, put a drop in the palm of my hand and rub them together. I then cupped my nose and my mouth and just started breathing in as deep as I could.

Within Seconds…

I mean Seconds. My chest started to not feel so tight, I was able to slow my breathing, my body temperature would start to regulate and I didn’t feel so angry. At first, I thought What the Hell is in the little bottle… I couldn’t be just orange juice.  How could this little bottle do this? I was stunned for a while. Thought it must be a flook. It must have been just a short panic attack.

So, I waited. Again I would have another panic attack, I would reach for the Wild Orange. To my surprise, this oil helped me again. How incredible. It was then that I started looking more into essential oils. My brain has to work on the science side of things to fully understand what is happening. After a couple of days of looking into doTERRA, I quickly send Ashley a message.

O.M.G. We need to meet. This oil you have given me, has completely transformed my life.

So, we made a meeting where we discussed everything about the business. This is where I got super excited. I wasn’t all for MLM, but the way Ashely explained it, made me excited.

Ashley asked me a question… Why do you want to do this as a business? I didn’t have to think long. I knew right away. It wasn’t even about the money. If these little bottles could completely transform my life, what can they do for everyone else? I wanted everyone to know how amazing these oils were. I wanted everyone to know my story. To know that they are not alone and that there is more help out there than just the MD and therapist.

Are you Stressed, Anxious, Depressed, Or Struggle with Panic Attacks?

If you are new to doTERRA. Please, fill out this form, and request your free sample today. I would Love to send you some of my favorite life-changing oils so that you are able to see how they can transform your life too.

Struggle with your Job? Looking at doing something life changing?

Please reach out. I never thought in a million years that I would be with this amazing company for the last 4.5 years. I have never been a part of something that is so moving, and so life-changing. doTERRA is changing lives one day at a time. Doing research and studies to see the fullest effects of these amazing oils.

Want to learn more about how to regulate your emotions? Check out The Class I am teaching Sunday, February 17th at 2:00 pm. 

Click Here to Register

emotions

Regulating Emotions with Essential Oils- How it works

By | Busy Moms, Essential Oils, Mental Health | No Comments

I’m Tired, Stressed, Anxious, Scared, Nervous…

The list goes on and on. Really I can make a huge list of just my emotions. But we need to focus on regulating them. Today’s post I’m not going to get into how our emotions become imbalanced, or what oils to use. I am strictly going to be talking about the science, on how they actually work. If you are wanting to know more about the other things you will have to Join me for my Regulating Emotions Seminar that I am running. Sign up Here.

No matter what age, or lifestyle we live, there is no escaping our emotions. It really is a part of being human. As each human is biochemically unique we all have our own set of unique set of personal experiences. With that said we will all experience emotions is different ways. We all have different coping strategies for each emotion.

How does the Brain Process Aromas?

Any time we smell anything whether that be the fresh air, apple pie baking or the aroma of essential oils. It will all be processed through the brain in a special order. After we inhale an aroma, it will be processed through the brains “olfactory system” This is where our sense of smell comes from. How it gets there is through the olfactory nerve where it will be processed. The olfactory system is actually connected to a part in the brain that is called the limbic system. This is where we regulate our heart rate, blood pressure, emotions, and memories. This is how some people can be triggered, by smelling a pine tree and thinking of Christmas. The Limbic system of the brain also can cause a rush of emotions that is almost immediate. This is called an emotional response.

So Lets Re-cap.

  • Aroma is smelled
  • The olfactory system controls sense of smell
  • The limbic system is connected to the olfactory system, where our emotions live.
  • Emotional response

So, as I mentioned how certain aromas can trigger certain memories, eg. the pine tree and Christmas, it can also trigger negative feelings as well. So the idea behind using aromatherapy to regulate our emotions is to help regulate them or to help dispel negative emotions.

It comes down to the chemistry and the specific essential oils. This helps us easily target specific emotions. This allows us to control a specific response. Each essential oils has its own unique chemical profile, which gives each oil its own unique properties and benefits.

The Chemical make up of the essential oils will help determine all of its benefits, such as which emotional response it can produce. This allows you to choose a specific essential oil for the purpose of triggering emotions.

There are so many different elements involved in the chemical makeup of essential oils. It varies from the type of plant that it comes from, where it comes from on that plant eg. Roots, leaves, flowers, bark, and fruit etc.

Let’s look at different Chemical Properties of these plants.

Ketones: Energizing, Invigorating and uplifting properties.

Monoterpenes Alcohols and Esters: Promote toning and calming properties

Monoterpenes Limonene and Beta-pinene: Strong uplifting characteristics

Esters, Oxides, and Sesquiterpenes: Promote soothing, renewing and grounded feelings

Phenols: Warming properties.

Do you struggle with your emotions? Do you feel like you have tried everything but nothing seems to get it just right? I encourage you to come out to my Regulating Emotions class that I am teaching February 17th at 2:00 pm at Circle Studio. For everyone that attends they will receive a full free bottle of mood balancing essential oil.

Do you struggle with emotional eating? I have you covered. I am also doing a seminar on Emotional Eating 101: March 1st at 7:00 PM. Click here to register. Or below.

Regulating Emotions

Click here to Register

 

Emotional Eating 101

Click here to Register

panic

Simple Steps for Overcoming a Panic Attack

By | Busy Moms, Essential Oils, Mental Health | No Comments

Chest tightening, body temperature rising, tears forming…

Panic Attacks Suck! I know the feeling all too well. For those who don’t know I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Anxiety disorder and Panic Disorder. Before I was diagnosed and taking the proper medication, I would have crazy panic attacks.

They are a terrible feeling. It almost feels like someone is sitting on your chest, and you become so angry that you just want to scream but all the while are wanting to cry. At the same time, your face is so red because your internal body temperature feels like your blood is about to boil. I would feel awful for the person I was around at the time. They would often feel the rage I was feeling.

Without the ability to regulate emotions effectively, I would often have an overwhelming feeling of rage. Someone would hurt my feelings, and I wanted to ensure that they knew how I was feeling but worse. I was often very rude.

Does any of that sound familiar?

We have determined we know what it feels like. But we need to know how to give ourselves support during these times. Let’s be honest, we can’t keep up with panic attacks for the rest of our days.

Since I have started these things it has been life-changing. I won’t be able to go back to the way I use to handle them.

Essential oils

These babies are hands down the 1st thing that helped me when I would have a panic attack. This is one of the reasons why I fell so in love with them. Wild Orange, was the first essential oil that I used when I was having a panic attack. But there are so many different essential oils that also can help with the nervous system. Contact me directly to learn what oil would be best for you.

My Medication

This is has been life-changing. There are so many people that say I don’t want to go on medication, it will change me as a person, or that you want to try the more natural way. They won’t change the person you are but help you become the person you are. They allow you to have the chance to live a more natural lifestyle.

Therapy

Therapy has taught me so many different amazing techniques to be able to help calm the mind. Such as Deep Breathing and mindfulness. Any time I feel a panic attack coming on, I focus heavily on my breathing. I breathe in for 3 counts, hold for 3 counts, and release for 3 counts, Repeat. Then focus on my surroundings and start calling them out or naming them in my head. I love to feel rooted in the floor and making myself present in the room.

Meditation

I don’t want to keep sounding like a broken record but again this was life-changing. I started approximately 6 years ago. It is hard, very hard. I didn’t have a clue what I should be doing when I was meditating I would just sit in the silence and try to think about nothing. About 30 seconds would pass which would feel like 20 minutes. The more I learned, the more I fell in love. I would love you to join me for a Guided Mediation one night.

Natural Nutrition

Well, it is a given that this is apart of my lifestyle. My life has been completely transformed from switching my diet. Following simple recipes such as the ones in the N5Diet. This is everything my business is formed around. The power of nutrition and how it can power our minds. I could really go on for hours on how nutrition can transform your life. If you would like to know more CLICK HERE

What do you like to do?

Do you have a go-to staple when it comes to your panic attacks? Did you know about these techniques? I would love to hear from you. I take my years of experience and have applied them into my practice. My guided mediations use the power of essential oils, deep breathing, and mindfulness. If you are struggling and want to learn more about how a Holistic Lifestyle can help you. Message me Today.

-I’m Ready to be Free-

relax

My Stress Melted Away by Doing This

By | Busy Moms, Essential Oils | No Comments

It only took 40 minutes out of my day

I can be the first to say that sometimes trying to find 40 minutes out of your day can be more of the struggle than anything. Sometimes it can feel stressful in itself. But really it is less than 1 hour and when you are finished you wake up feeling like you are on cloud nine. You can do this just once a month or every couple of weeks to reset yourself.

Now, what could I possibly be talking about? What really can help my stress in a total of 40 minutes? I am talking about getting an AromaTouch Technique. This is an essential oils massage, that helps promote overall wellness.

So what does this all entail?

You get to come into this Luxurious room with a zen atmosphere, fireplace, and beautiful essence. You get to lay on your stomach for the full 40 minutes with relaxing spa music to help calm the mind. There is a specific application for each of the 8 essential oils. The essential oils are applied to the back up your spine. With fingertip touch massaged into the back and neck.

At the end of the massage, essential oils are applied to the bottoms of your feet to continue with the overall relaxing experience. Moving back to your back to finish off the final connection. The Massage is ended with a light shaking of the ankles that provides the overall body to feel a sense of vibration. This is to help promote lymphatic circulation.

What Essential Oils are used?

doTERRA Essential oils are used during the application. A team of Doctors and scientists worked together to develop the AromaTouch Techniques. They have created this so everyone could experience essential oils in a safe and effective way.

What does Aroma have to do with the overall Experience?

Our olfactory bulb or the odor receptors have a direct link to the limbic system of our brains. The limbic system of our brain is where we hold our memories and emotions. Also where our blood pressure and heart rate are regulated. That is why specific aromas can trigger recollections life events or emotions. For example, the smell of fresh baked cookies may trigger a memory or emotion of your grandmother baking when you were a child.

Ready to experience total relaxation in 40 minutes? Want to regain some of that freedom back. Book your appointment today and receive 10% off your first visit.  CLICK HERE to book your appointment.

Book Now

 

Energy

5 way to Increase Energy after Sleepless Nights

By | Busy Moms, Essential Oils | No Comments

Energy, What we call Crave!

Sleep, it is something that I feel is the base of all health. When we sleep our body goes through a natural Rest and Repair process. During this process our bodies naturally detox. But honestly, how many of us are getting the proper amount of uninterrupted sleep? Rarely! Without this proper amount of sleep, our bodies struggle with getting back to the base to restart the day. Not to mention we are tired AF.

Shout out to my fellow mothers out there. We get the newborn stage where the babies don’t sleep and it feels like we need to sleep for 2 months and we still wouldn’t have enough sleep. Then finally get them to start sleeping through the night, but for the first little while your body still just wakes you up. Its been about 6 months finally starting to adjust and them BAM! They never want to sleep again. Worse then newborn. Then there are the moms that have 2+ children and anytime you get one to sleep the other won’t sleep. ARG.

Grey Hairs… bags under eyes… Coffee… wheres the COFFEE?

When we are in this state our poor body can’t function properly and can lead to an imbalance with hormones, as well as a whole other host of issues. I know struggling with my Mental health I need to get my sleep if not, I am not able to be so mindful towards people. But Always reaching for that coffee can lead to further stress on the body.

So what can we do to increase energy?

  • Maca root: Powder or liquid. Either is ok, the liquid would be absorbed the quickest. This will help balance your hormones, as well as give you an abundance of energy.
  • Essential Oils: Citrus oils and Peppermint EO are amazing for waking up the body and the mind. doTERRA is the oils that I use and trust. Learn More
  • Matcha– condensed powered green tea, this has amazing calming properties to it as well but provide amazing energy. Put in smoothies or drink warm.
  • Yoga- When you are so lack in sleep you need to do something for yourself. You can’t take care of anyone else before yourself. Yoga has amazing benefits to help wake the body up and a great way to start the day.
  • Proper Nutrition- Yes this one is KEY when you are lacking in sleep your body can be in a higher acid state. You need all of those extra nutrients to keep you going. No sugar crashes.

This is something I know all too well. These are just some of the tips that I include in the programs that I design for busy women and moms. If you are struggling and are looking for help, set up a Free Consultation to learn how Holistic Nutrition can help you.

 

 

mood

Top Essential Oils for Mood Imbalances

By | Essential Oils, Mental Health | No Comments

Balance your Moods with Essential Oils

Moods can be a tricky thing to balance in everyone, we are all biochemically different. What works for one may not always work for someone else. Essential oils have hundreds of different compounds allowing them to be used for multiple different things rather than just one thing.  When I feel that my emotions are out of sorts and need to be balanced, I always switch it up and see what oils I am drawn to that day. I love to close my eyes and inhale and see what resonates with me most.

Ever wonder how on earth can essential oils really affect your body and your moods? Inhaling any scent whether it be from an essential oil, chemicals, or foods; the smells work with the limbic system of the brain. The limbic system helps control: heart rate, blood pressure, memory, breathing, stress levels, even your digestion.

Emotional triggers that can be linked with smells, this can be a good thing, from smelling pine trees and it reminding you of the holidays. However, It can also trigger bad memories, causing your heart to pound, you feeling hot, your breathing gets swallow bring your back to a difficult time.

Essential oils that are used in Aromatherapy as a nervine and calmative, relaxation, or mood balancing.¹

  • Clary Sage
  • Grapefruit
  • Helichrysum
  • Juniper Berry
  • Lavender
  • Patchouli
  • Peppermint
  • Sandalwood
  • Wild Orange
  • Vetiver
  • Clary Calm®
  • Serenity™

This may be overwhelming and these oils only start to skim the top of the essential oils that have been found to help. There are even customized blends that have been shown to help balance moods. Furthermore, it is important to remember not all essential oils are treated equally and are not governed.

If you were wanting to learn how you can help balance your mood with essential oils, sign up for a one-on-one session or do a group class for FREE.

 

Source¹

essential oils

10 Top Uses for Bergamot Essential Oil

By | Essential Oils | No Comments

What can bergamot help me with?

Bergamot essential oil really needs to be talked up just a little bit more. This is a very powerful essential oil that is very versatile, that have so many different uses, however, I am going to talk about top 10 uses.

First off I want to talk about the importance of sourcing. I have made a blog about sourcing and why it is so important if you have not read it go check it out here. Essential oils are no different from your food, and you want to get the most nutrients you possibly can. Unlike our food essential oils are not governed, and unfortunately having that sticker on the label saying 100% pure or natural, literally means nothing. Great way to check out your essential oil, is to ensure your essential oil bottle has a Lot number, allowing you to check the testing that has been done on the oil to ensure the purity.

When it comes to synthetics, our bodies don’t know what to do with them naturally, and often can offset out bodies normal functions. It really can be causing you more harm, and cause more damage to your body currently has. No one needs that.

When we use essential oils there are 3 different ways that you can use them. You can find this information over at my Essential Oil Page. When it comes to bergamot, primarily the essential oil will be used topically or aromatically.

Ok, let’s get to these top 10 uses!

Helps to relieve¹:

  1. Headaches.
  2. Colds and coughs.
  3. Digestive discomfort symptoms.
  4. Acne symptoms.
  5. Boils symptoms.
  6. Eczema, and dermatitis symptoms.
  7. Minor skin irritation.
  8. Cuts.
  9. Bruises.
  10. Burns.

Way to go Bergamot, this is one heck of a powerful essential oil, and I feel that it is often forgotten about. Who can say that they wouldn’t use bergamot?

If you are new to essential oils and you are looking to get started but not sure how to, go check out my Essential Oil Classes page and request a class or a one-on-one to learn how essential oils can help you.

¹Source

Lavender

Lavender, and the ways it can help

By | Essential Oils | No Comments

Lavender essential oil tips and uses

Lavender essential oil is my saviour, why? As we all know by this point, I love my essential oils and they are used on a daily basis in my house. One thing people have a hard time with when it comes to essential oils is, how on earth do I use these. Our brains are so programmed to think “hey I have a headache, let’s take Tylenol” or “what do I have in my drug cupboard to help with this discomfort.” It just second nature to most of our brains now, not think of natural ways to go about supporting our bodies. Well, that is what I LOVE doing the most. I love helping people and educating people in the best ways to help get on the natural path of life and one way of doing that is through essential oils.

Now I can go on for years if you’d like,  about what essential oils are amazing more. However, I doubt you have the time for that right now. I will start off with one of my all time favorite essential oils, that I use every single day. When people first crack open one of our bottles of Lavender essential oils, they are normally blown away from how amazing it smells, even the people who think they don’t like lavender. There are so many synthetics out there that have clouded our sense of smell, that we don’t know how something is truly supposed to smell.

So, what is the first thing that I use lavender essential oil for? My kids. Lavender essential oil is used in Aromatherapy as a nervine and a calmative*, aka: calms the nerves. As most of you can attest with young children, trying to get them to calm down before bed is sometimes more than a chore. I love to add a couple drops to some Epsom salts and add it to their bath, to set the tone for the rest of the night.  Another reason why I enjoy using in the bath with them, as it is used in aromatherapy to be applied topically to help relieve minor skin irritations*, if you don’t know both my children have super sensitive skin and get many skin irritations regularly, this has helped their skin on so many levels. To add to bedtime routine I like to add a drop onto the pillow or put a few drops into our diffuser to help disperse the aroma around the room, allowing my children to reap the benefits for hours.

It is that time of year, the sun is hot and the kids are running around outside letting off all the steam, which help burns off all that extra energy. However, it is also the time of year for bugs and sunburns and all sorts of cuts. Lavender is used in aromatherapy to relieve cuts and burns, being applied topically*. How awesome is that? I have spray bottles and roll on bottles already pre-made with Lavender and fractionated coconut oil, for all of those owies, booboos, and burns. You can even mix some aloe vera, lavender essential oil, and the fractionated coconut oil into a spray bottle to help with the burns, allowing a touch-free application.

A couple other amazing things that Lavender is amazing for are:

-used in aromatherapy to relieve as a carminative and antispasmodic for symptomatic relief of digestive discomfort.*

-Used in aromatherapy for symptomatic relief of acne and boils.*

Not only do I love using it in my kiddo’s nightly routine, I love using it my nightly routine as well. I use lavender essential oil in my bath at night paired with Epsom salts, baking soda, a large glass of cool water, and a good book. Followed by in my DIY face moisturizer and to top off the night I add it into my diffuser while I sleep. Not to mention that it is pretty much in every first aid kit that I own.

Have you ever wanted to take your health and wellness to the next holistic level, but just don’t know how and or where to start? Feel free to check out my essential oil page, request free samples and or contact me at any time to learn more about essential oils and the brand that I use and trust.

*Claim is approved for this natural health product. Reference Lavender NPN80061038

self-care

Self-care, how toxic is your life?

By | Essential Oils, Mental Health | One Comment

Self-care, remove your toxins and take back control

Self-care is something that I have truly struggled with. My entire life I have always had my focus on everyone else, either desperately fighting for attention to be noticed, or having pity on others and trying to make their situation better, rather than focusing on my own situation. Since I started counselling I have really been able to put my life into perspective, it’s all making a lot more sense and the dots are starting to be connected. I still to this day struggle with this, I am always concerned I am going to hurt someone, even though they continuously hurt me. It’s like rewarding a dog for bad behaviour.

We can do self-care until we are blue in the face, but let’s be honest, it’s not going to do an oz of good if we are still around people who are toxic. Eventually, our relationships, our children, and our life start to suffer. Why do we do this to ourselves? It’s the same as being in a domestic violence relationship, it’s familiar and it is what we know. Our minds are scared of the unknown, this is the reason why so many people are scared of death.

People who are negative and toxic are all about control. They try to control the way you feel, think and act. This is often where people start to develop rage, so much anger is built up that you lash our and scream and do and say hurtful things. Do they listen? No. Why? They don’t see what they are doing, and or they don’t care. Most of the time these toxic people will never listen and never see what they are doing to you. This leads to people thinking you’re the crazy one. They will continue to try to get people to understand their views, potentially brainwashing everyone around them.

Often, more times than not these toxic people are family. People have this pre-conceived notion, that since they are family we have to keep them close, and “put up” with the crap, but guess what, you don’t. If you are not happy and you get anxiety just thinking about them, why keep doing this to yourself.

“The facts are that family members are just people and not always healthy people, and if these people weren’t family, we would never choose them to be a part of our lives due to their poor treatment of us,”-Campbell¹

For those of us who have children, I like to think to myself “why would I want to subject my children to the situations in which hurt me”. My children have made the struggle real for me; they have made me force myself into self-care, not only for myself but for them too. A very wise phrase as you may of hear growing up is “it’s about quality not quantity” and this applies to every aspect of your life.

I’m writing this for everyone who has ever been in a toxic relationship, whether it was domestic, family, or friends. I want everyone to feel empowered to make their own change. Take back the control of your life, and your feelings. Why take medication for anxiety when you can remove the reason for your anxiety out of your life.

You can attend an event, and be treated badly by people that are saying hurtful things to you or about you or, you don’t attend the event and people still say hurtful about you, what is the difference? The difference is you are not putting up with the anxiety. You didn’t give in and reward them for their bad behaviours. If you have anxiety just thinking about the event why subject yourself to more abuse.

I read an amazing book once, and I highly recommend it to everyone, to at least read this book sometime in their life. “How full is your bucket- by Tom Rath” This book gave me a lot of insight about my life as a person and as a parent. It goes with the saying you can’t pour from an empty cup, so how are you expected to attend these mentally draining occasions, then come home to your spouse and/or children and then continue to give to them? How can you give when there is nothing left to give.

You can’t pour from an empty cup²

Self-care tips:

  • Remove toxic people
  • Think of a safe place a happy place
  • Do something for yourself
  • Create a new tradition, a new normal
  • Break the cycle.
  • Essential oils
  • Counselling

If this sounds like your life and you are looking to start making a change, I always recommend counselling, it helps put everything in perspective. I always highly suggest using essential oils for mood management. If your depression is taking over your life, you can speak with your Naturopath or MD.

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